"mattress firm" is a really shitty name for a mattress store

why aren’t there any clinical trials going on around me that’ll take healthy people ffs

how I want to react to getting a call
me: hello?
lady: hello, may I speak to candide?
me: you are speaking to him.
lady: okay, uh-
me: are you calling to give me a job?
lady: ...no, uh, this is about that MRI you-
me: call me when you want to give me money *hang up*


Look what I got for $206.99 out the door. 1952 made Ithaca 37 Featherlight 12 Gauge with a barrel cut to 19 inches and a bead and sling swivel installed. 4+1 but it feeds mini-shells and will slam fire.


My patches arrived today. 50 Native American skull heads.

this resume I made is fuckin’ bitchin as hell